Birthdays

Eight years ago I got a text message from my friend Milan, ‘Hey guys, when is the next flight to Ibiza?’ What made it memorable is that our plane was just landing, returning to Toronto from a guys birthday trip to… Ibiza. And nobody had wanted to go on the trip.

Why can’t we just go to Las Vegas like normal people?

Ibiza is full of teenagers, we’re old, we’ll feel out of place.

It’s a 12 hour trip with a connecting flight, no way.

In the end, six of us intrepid adventurers went to Ibiza to celebrate my 50th birthday. And we had an amazing time.

As I’ve been reminded many times over the years, it’s about who you’re with, not about where you are. My friend Linda Medeiros just returned from the 2023 Burning Man festival-in-the-mud, and said that all the hype about the so-called disaster was centred around rich idiots, influencers, or weekenders who shouldn’t have been there in the first place. True Burners were prepared, or in the worst cases, enjoyed themselves anyway with the support of the community.

Unlike the Playa after three days of rain, Ibiza is a magical place despite it being a long flight compared to Las Vegas. Yes it’s full of teenagers, but Europeans don’t care how old you are. The rest of the world could take a lesson. We went into that birthday trip perhaps feeling a little old, and emerged from it impaired after four days of non stop partying, but feeling a decade younger. Did we grow a little as people, or was it just decadence?

Was Jerry right? Have I learned nothing while having a good time? I don’t believe that for a second. While we were in Ibiza, we ran across a building that had these words painted on the side. It was my first time ever seeing this quote, and it was appropriate I saw it when and where I did.

Last year I found myself trapped in a mirror maze in Niagara Falls with two of my closest friends. We had drunk a little too much and were collapsed on the floor in the middle of the maze. I said, “Leave me, save yourselves” and I dissolved into a laughing fit. I was 57 years old, doing a bad job of being an adult, and loving it.

On earlier birthdays I’ve thrown amazing parties, had quiet dinners, traveled to other exotic locations, and gone on amazing adventures. But thinking back on it now, it’s always the people who made it magical. And that’s true of my whole life. Businesses started and failed. Long trips through the far east and Australia, maybe a detour to go on a blind date in Mumbai. Idyllic walks in a park. Evenings spent laughing at Modern Family episodes. Cottage trips, cruises, driving the kids to school and hockey practices while listening to audiobooks, all the best times of my life have been with the people I’ve chosen to surround myself with.

Yet birthdays are still a special time. You get to indulge yourself a little. People are a little more willing to go out of their way or do something unusual if it will make you happy. So I do take advantage of the day to plan things that are a little different. Come on guys, let’s go to Ibiza, let’s do something new!

I turned 58 yesterday. By the standards of my 12 year old self, I’m old. By my standards now, I’m young and getting younger. Tonight my wife and I fly to Ibiza again with some friends. Maybe I am getting older, because my imagination is failing me. Maybe not. It’s a different group than we’ve traveled with before. New memories to be made, new experiences to be had. Maybe some day I’ll get old, but it’s not today.

Today it’s time to play.