Why Do People Play Pickleball?

I’m sitting in a bowling alley in Montreal, watching my son and a rowdy crew of 12 year olds enjoy the heck out of something that seems completely meaningless. I don’t mean bowling in particular, I think that ‘meaningless’ can describe all sports.

The reason we’re in Montreal is for a kids hockey tournament. Another meaningless sport — none of these kids are going to play in the NHL. Why are we here? Why do people play sports?

There are lots of good reasons actually. Including socializing, learning, and exercising. Also signaling. As with what you wear, what you drive, and who you hang out with, what you do with your free time has signaling value.

I guarantee you, when these kids meet someone new and are asked what they’ve been up to, none of them are going to say, “I’ve been bowling.” They’re going to say, “I play hockey.” In this part of the world, that signals being a person of value. Maybe there’s some other part of the world where saying you’re a bowler signals you’re a person of value. Mmm, maybe not.

This signaling value has recently become an issue for me as I’ve taken up Pickleball. Talk about a sport with image issues. In my life I’ve played a fair bit of hockey, baseball, and tennis. All sports with great signaling value. But Pickleball? Just saying it makes me wince.

And yet it’s amazing fun. Leaves you with enough breath to socialize (yell insults) while playing. Physical enough to be exercise but not enough to cause serious injuries.

And yet. When I put ‘Pickleball 2pm’ into my shared calendar, I wonder who else is going to see it. I want my kids to think I’m cool. I don’t think Pickleball is going to aid the cause.

One of them recently asked me, “Dad, do you play Pickleball now instead of tennis because you’re old?”

I replied, “Son, I play Pickleball because it’s fun and it’s the fastest growing sport in the world.” I have no idea if that’s actually true but I heard something like that somewhere and it sounds impressive. He looked skeptical, so I added, “besides, it’s cool.” Possibly the least cool thing I could have said.

My friends who play Pickleball have discussed changing the name to something cooler, like ‘Smashball!’ (exclamation mark included). I don’t know. Feels like maybe we’re trying too hard.

I’m certainly not going to give up on the sport because it’s not cool enough. Finally my wife and I have something athletic we can do with other couples. Fun until infirmity forces us to take up bridge. I don’t harbour any hope that time and growth will make Pickleball cool. It doesn’t translate well to television, much like doubles tennis, and I think a large viewership may be what it takes to make sports cool.

It’s certainly not athleticism that brings signaling value. Witness golf and poker. Minimal athleticism required beyond the ability to stay awake while playing or watching. But they translate well to TV. Cool.

Pickleball, not cool. We won’t ever be seeing a tall, handsome Pickleball Ace with a paddle over his shoulder suggesting you wear his watch or his cologne, no matter how many people play the sport.

Pickleball is growing fast. Pickleball will be in the Olympics. Your kids will play it in school. Your friends will invite you to try it out. But cool? Never.

So if you want to impress people with your choice of leisure activities, don’t play Pickleball. But if you want to get some exercise, have some fun, and socialize, it’s amazing. And it’s still cooler than bowling.

1. Pickleball instructional video

2. Bowlers being not cool